


Get it right

by whenineternal



Category: NCT (Band), UNB (Band)
Genre: M/M, PWP, except now there kind of is, seriously no plot whatsoever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-07-11 23:57:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7075996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whenineternal/pseuds/whenineternal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hansol wouldn't stop giggling and Johnny really needed him to shut up. </p><p>"I knew tequila shots were a bad idea."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sex

For some reason Hansol couldn’t stop giggling. He was so drunk, absolutely wasted, and everything and nothing was funny at the same time. Nothing, because he was barely lucid enough to be aware of his surroundings. He could feel Johnny’s warmth beside him, at least he thought it was Johnny, and the younger man was leading him somewhere with a firm hand at his elbow. He leaned heavily against the person at his side and they both staggered a little and fell against the wall.  
“Dammit Hansol. Why’d you go and get so fuckin’ drunk huh?”  
He easily recognised the voice in his ear, and the smell of his breath and the slur in his words as well as the excessive cussing told Hansol that Johnny, he was certain now that it was Johnny, was just as drunk as he. Instead of answering, Hansol only giggled more and didn’t move from his slumped position against Johnny’s chest. Even if he was sober he wouldn’t be able to tell what he was giggling at. But again, if he was sober he wouldn’t be giggling like this at all.  
With a great show of strength, admirable in his drunken state, Johnny pushed them both away from the wall and continued walking down the hall. This time he wrapped an arm around Hansol’s waist and took his wrist in his free hand to steer him properly.

They made it to Johnny’s room with a lot of stumbling, but otherwise little fuss, and Johnny propped Hansol up against the door as he struggled to open it. He pressed close against him just to be sure he wouldn’t fall and Hansol chose to cling onto his neck and laugh at something over his shoulder. It was cute, but Johnny really wished he would stop with the giggling at some point. Maybe once he got him in bed Hansol would just go out like a light and sleep until morning. He was drunk too, and he was tired of having to take care of his older friend. He managed to unlock the door and almost shoved it open with the both of them still leaning against it.  
“Woah” Hansol breathed, pulling out the oh sound and then he started giggling again.  
“Oh shut up” Johnny groused, but Hansol only giggled into his hand instead of right in his ear.  
“I knew tequila shots were a bad idea” he continued to grumble as he practically heaved Hansol inside the room. The other man was completely distracted by something or other, hell if Johnny knew what, and not paying the slightest attention to him. Even if his eyes were focused quite firmly on his body. He heaved a great sigh of relief once he dropped Hansol on his bed, standing up straight for what felt like the first time in the last hour. 

For some reason Hansol had decided to down three shots at once right off the bat, and he hadn’t stopped drinking until Yuta had practically climbed into his lap to make him. Johnny had drunk at a far more moderate pace, something he quickly regretted once Hansol started drooping in his seat. They hadn’t noticed at first and if it hadn’t been for Yuta falling to the floor as he had relied on Hansol to keep him steady, the man probably would have fallen asleep right there. And Johnny wouldn’t be in this mess.  
If he had drunk more in a shorter time the others wouldn’t have trusted him to get Hansol safely in bed and they probably would have made Jaehyun and Taeil do it or something. And if he wasn’t so frigging tall, maybe he wouldn’t have had to do this alone. Yuta could have come with and then he could have left him to look after Hansol and gone back to the party.  
“You owe me big time man. I’m gonna hang this over your head for a fucking long time.” He was drunk, and he was angry, and he was too much of the latter and not nearly enough of the former when Hansol only giggled right in his face. “Why the fuck are you still awake.”  
Hansol framed his face with his hands, showing him the standard, pretty cheesy, sunflower aegyo. Okay, it was pretty cute, but why couldn’t he stop giggling? If he was horny, Johnny would understand. Tequila always made him horny, but Hansol was acting like a prepubescent child. _Oh well_ , that sober voice in his head whispered, _better he be cute than down and withdrawn_. Hansol had been in an odd mood for several weeks and it was one of the reasons Johnny hadn’t stepped in when he started downing drinks earlier in the evening. The guy obviously needed it. (So the other reason might have been that Johnny wanted to see if tequila would make Hansol as desperately horny as it made him, but that is completely irrelevant in this situation. Except from the fact that Hansol is lying in _his_ bed, giggling and doing aegyo at him.) Johnny sank down on the edge of his bed and with his feet planted on the floor he carefully fell onto his back, cursing his long body when his head hit against the wall. Hansol giggled some more and the bed moved under his weight when he shifted around to come closer to Johnny, taking the pillow with him. 

“Why the hell are you like this? You’ve never been this kind of drunk before.” Johnny, sadly, was already starting to sober up, clarity coming back while he laid staring at his white ceiling. “I don’t think I’ve ever been _this_ drunk before.” Hansol’s voice was surprisingly clear, that he answered at all was surprising enough to Johnny, but he could only agree. Hansol had always been one of the more careful drinkers, so he could keep Doyoung company he always said, as the younger boy was not a big fan of alcohol at all, but Johnny never believed him. He was more inclined to think Hansol had some embarrassing episodes of drunkenness, and having seen him reduced to giggles and cute, had cemented that belief.  
Hansol was giggling again, right against his ear, his warm breath fanning over the side of Johnny’s face. “Dammit, are you ever going to shut up!” The complaint burst out of Johnny and he flew up to sit on the edge of the mattress. Hansol rolled over at the sharp movement, and seeing him flung over his bed like that, eyes wide and arms at his side and still frigging giggling, did something to Johnny. With a growled _shut up_ he took Hansol’s wrists in each of his hands and pinned him to the bed, swooping down to press his mouth roughly against the other’s. It did the trick, Hansol stopped giggling immediately, but when Johnny went to pull away, satisfied with having shocked him silent, he was stopped by Hansol biting into his lower lip and moaning instead. And wasn’t that a far better sound.  
With his mouth curved into a smirk, Johnny happily went back to kissing the other man, swiping his tongue inside his mouth when Hansol opened on a gasp. It was a wet and dirty, utterly filthy, kiss with more tongue than lips and teeth biting wherever they could. 

With no patience as the tequila was making its way through his body and to his crotch, Johnny used his considerable strength to turn Hansol on his stomach. He shoved the loose sweater up Hansol’s back until it bunched together at his armpits and pressed kiss after kiss against his soft skin as he laid over his body and raised his hips from the bed. He ground against Hansol’s ass as he struggled with the button and zipper of his jeans. Hansol could only grasp at the sheets and moan as he was still reeling from the sudden turn of events.  
Johnny left him for no more than a few seconds and when he was back on top of him, that was when Hansol first realised that he was naked from the shoulders and down. His jeans and underwear were tangled around his ankles and the bed shifted under him when Johnny tore his slip-on shoes from his feet and pulled at his jeans, one leg at a time to get them off.  
“Fuck” Hansol breathed and buried his face in his hands. It had been a long time since he had been in a position like this, a long time since he had had sex at all actually, but despite his embarrassment he was damn excited.  
“Wow,” Johnny laughed behind him, “I thought you were too drunk to get it up, but there you go.” Hansol shuddered, choking on a breath when Johnny teased a wet finger inside him, far too quickly followed by a second, but who could care. Hansol certainly didn’t, even as it stung like hell he only pushed back against the other man’s hand wanting more and more.

“So” Johnny began, far too casual while fingers deep in Hansol’s ass and stroking his own cock to full hardness. “You’re gay?”  
Hansol huffed out a breath, and another and another as he rode Johnny’s fingers, “totally” he admitted and Johnny pushed a third finger inside him. He took hold of Hansol’s hip with his free hand and thrust his fingers inside him steady and quick, and then he curled them, up and down and around inside Hansol until the older man jerked and whimpered loudly. Johnny bit down on a smirk and pressed his fingers firmly against Hansol’s prostate and rubbed over it until Hansol was unable to take any more, knees sliding on the sheets to leave him flat on his stomach. Presented with the delicious sight, Johnny’s patience was cut even shorter and he pulled his fingers out and dried them off on the sheet. He tore the condom wrapper with his teeth and placed the rubber at the tip of his cock, carefully sliding it down his length. Dipping his fingers again in the jar of Vaseline on his nightstand he coated his latex covered cock with enough slick before rising to stand on his knees behind Hansol. With both hands holding him steady, Johnny tugged the other man back onto his knees, leaving him to balance his upper body on his shoulders. 

There was no ceremony to it when Johnny pushed his cock inside Hansol for the first time, but he took his time. Even drunk he liked to take things slow. His favourite part about sex was driving his partner absolutely mad with pleasure and he wasn’t going to do anything less for this precious boy. Hansol moaned throughout it all, the slide of Johnny’s cock inside him, his girth stretching him further than what his fingers had, the tight grip Johnny had on his hips. Every piece of it came together to give him more pleasure than he had felt in a very long time. Johnny was good.

“Ah … you’re big” Hansol gasped once Johnny stilled with his cock completely inside him. “Yeah” was all the answer Johnny could give. While he had been calm and perfectly collected while he was stretching Hansol with his fingers, feeling the walls and the rings of muscles in Hansol’s ass squeeze his cock like that had him almost inarticulate. He kept still to let Hansol adjust to the stretch, and to gather himself as well, and once Hansol was breathing more or less steady he turned his head to look back at Johnny.  
“You?” he asked, his cheek pressed against the mattress and mouth open with his tongue sticking out at the corner. He looked cheeky and like a total minx, the expression in his eyes egging Johnny on until he had to move, pulling halfway out and thrusting back inside.  
“Nah” Johnny answered after another thrust, “gender means shit to me.” He pulled out to the tip and thrust back inside in one fluid move and a choking sound came from Hansol as the breath stopped in his lungs at the sudden hard push against his prostate. Nothing more was said for some time then, the both of them focused on the physical pleasure of sex. 

Hansol kept gasping for breath as Johnny thrust inside him, moaning every time he breathed out and jerking slightly every time he tried to take a breath in. Every other thrust he would clench down on Johnny’s cock and in return Johnny would grip his hips harder, leaving red marks in his skin that would surely turn blue. He pulled out so only the tip was barely inside Hansol, and when he pushed slowly all the way back inside he stretched out over Hansol’s back until he covered him completely. “Com‘ere baby” he mumbled and slid a hand between Hansol’s cheek and the mattress to tilt his head so they could kiss. “You gonna touch yourself baby, or do I have to do all the work here?”  
Hansol only shook his head and stretched his tongue out to swipe over Johnny’s lips so the other man would kiss him again. Johnny grunted as Hansol purposefully clamped down on his cock when he didn’t give him what he wanted. In retaliation to the teasing Johnny took Hansol’s wrists in his hands, effectively pinning him down with his entire body, and started fucking him for real.  
With hard, precise thrusts Johnny almost drove Hansol up the bed, body slipping and moving on the sheets until his knees fell apart enough that he fell completely off Johnny’s cock. Johnny didn’t let him rest however, taking one hand from Hansol’s wrist to position his cock and pushed back inside him. Pressed against the sheets the friction on his cock made Hansol moan louder than ever before as they both lost any sense of restraint. Skin slapping and moans and gasps and desperate whimpers resounding in the room, Hansol with his back arched and pressing back against Johnny, and Johnny rolling his hips in shallow thrusts to keep his cock against Hansol’s prostate, they came almost simultaneously.  
Johnny stayed still on top of Hansol for a long time after that, listening to Hansol’s gasping attempts at regaining his breath and relishing the fluttering of his ass around his cock until his own length softened completely. Soft whimpers fell from Hansol’s mouth when he finally pulled out and Johnny slid a calming hand over his naked back and pressed wet kisses along his shoulders. It was strangely quiet in the room without Hansol’s surprisingly loud moans and Johnny’s strained grunts and the mood quickly turned somber.

He just fucked one of his best friends.

And he was completely wasted, out of his mind, not thinking straight at all. Damn, if Hansol regretted this come morning, their friendship would be utterly fucked.

“I’ve been fucked Johnny, not our friendship. Get it right.”


	2. Pride

He might have sworn up and down that what happened between them that night wouldn’t change anything, that it wouldn’t cause a rift or awkwardness between them, but Hansol finds himself days later unable to talk to Johnny. At least not without stuttering and blushing and his palms getting sweaty. Johnny obviously notices and there is a strained quality to his smile every time they meet eyes, but Hansol can’t help it.

He doesn’t regret what happened, not in the least, but he has a dreadful habit of getting too attached. And that is what is happening now. He is getting attached to Johnny, putting things into his words that he doesn’t say, seeing images in his eyes that aren’t there. And every night he dreams of him, recounts in detail what they did together and gets off on thoughts about him. He is afraid of Johnny rejecting him, so he talks to him as little as possible to prevent anything from slipping out, and he stays as far away from him as he can to keep his hands to himself. He does all this and doesn’t realise that to Johnny, this already feels like a rejection.

 

 

Hansol is stretching in a corner of the practice room when Johnny comes up to him. He sits down beside him, but doesn’t say a word for a long while and Hansol feels his whole body heat up with anxiousness. There must be a reason why Johnny chose to sit with him, they’re not exactly talking lately, mostly because of him he realises. Whatever it is, Hansol can’t fathom why Johnny would choose to approach him now, right before dance practice while the room is almost too crowded.

Lost in his thoughts Hansol misses the instructor calling for them to gather and Johnny shakes his shoulder as he gets to his feet. He takes Hansol hands in his and pulls him up and when Hansol is steady on his own feet he leans into him and whispers against his ear, “Happy Pride.”

Hansol stops and his eyes widen for a second of realisation. He had completely forgotten. It’s not like he can celebrate it much, but he always makes sure to mark the days and do something special and this year he actually had a plan. With Johnny a constant fixture on his mind he has lost track of everything else, only going with the flow of routine. He meets eyes with Johnny and there is something different about the other man’s smile, a slight quirk that has Hansol’s mind spinning. Then Johnny is walking away from him and Hansol shakes his head and scolds himself for once again seeing something that isn’t there.

It’s not necessarily love or any kind of romantic feelings that Hansol has for Johnny, and sentiment is not what he sees in Johnny when he imagines he feels the same. To be honest, it’s just sex.

He wants more of it, he wants to feel it again and he can’t stop imagining it every time he so much as thinks about Johnny. Seeing Johnny’s hands remind him of how they felt on his body, how strong they were on his hips and how gentle they were when he held his wrists. When Johnny talks Hansol gets lost in the movements of his lips, imagining them on his own again. Watching Johnny dance, in the mirror or with his own eyes from behind him, the flexing of his thighs and calves as he moves reminds Hansol of the power behind every thrust Johnny had made inside him.

He wants him, and he can feel his resolve to stay away weakening for every time he thinks about Johnny’s cock.

 

It is later in the evening, after their schedules are over and the building is starting to quiet down, Hansol sits on the floor of an empty practice room. There is music playing lowly from the stereo and he has his phone in his hands, fingers writing and erasing a simple message again and again.

_Can we talk?_

He settles with the simplest question in the end and taps the send button. Not half a minute later there is an answer from Johnny.

_Course give me a sec and I’ll be right there_ _J_

Hansol panics and send a quick _no_ before Johnny can do much. The other man is probably back at the dorms, probably thinks that’s where Hansol is as well, but Hansol can’t do this face to face.

_Can we talk like this?_

It takes longer for Johnny to reply this time and Hansol can almost feel his disappointment in the lengthy silence.

_Sure._

The full stop behind that single word feels heavy on Hansol. It is so unlike Johnny to be so curt, he is always expressive and loud and kind. The veiled anger in that one word, that one little dot, is so unfamiliar it leaves Hansol staring at it for minutes. It’s only when another message from Johnny pops up on the screen that he breaks free from the trance.

_Are you alright?_

Hansol wasn’t expecting a question like that, not after the previous message, but that’s the con of messaging. When he can’t see Johnny’s face, he has no way of knowing what the man is thinking and feeling. But that is also why he chose to do it this way. If Johnny rejects his proposal, he can only do it in words. Hansol won’t see if his face twists in disgust or his forehead scrunches in pity, he won’t see if Johnny’s eyes darken as he starts to regret ever kissing him in the first place and he won’t see his shoulders fall as their friendship unravels right before their eyes.

Instead of answering Johnny’s question, Hansol starts typing a long message to get out everything on his mind before Johnny can interrupt.

_I wanted to apologize for being so weird this last week. It’s not because I regret what happened or something like that. I (_ he hesitates for a long while as he tries to get the words down, he knows what he wants to say but even alone in an empty room far from Johnny the words he wants to say has him fumbling and blushing in embarrassment)

_I can’t stop thinking about it and I wanted to ask if there is any chance that it could happen again?_

It is painfully formal and Hansol winces after he hits send. He can imagine Johnny laughing at his phone, probably able to read his awkwardness in the words written there. He drops his phone between his legs and it clangs as it hits the wooden floor, but Hansol only buries his face in his hands and groans quietly. He just propositioned Johnny for sex. Over a text message. How much more pathetic can he get?

His feet start tapping and his hands are burning from how hot his face is and it feels like butterflies are flapping their wings in every cell of his body so Hansol jumps to his feet and begins to pace. Around and around in circles he goes, ear turned towards the corner where his phone lies quiet on the floor. His body jerks to a stop and he nearly falls as he twists around and his shoes grip the flooring, but the ping from his phone and the screen lighting up with a new message would have him crawling flat on the floor if need be.

_Where are you? I’m at you room, but you’re not answering!!_

A choked laugh forces its way out of Hansol’s throat and he gathers his things messily in his hands and leave the room with the stereo still playing.

 

The thought of replying to Johnny doesn’t even enter his mind as he practically runs all the way from the practice room to the dorms, but when he gets there Johnny is still waiting. The other man is leaned against the wall beside his door, turning his phone around and around in his hands. When he hears Hansol he looks up and immediately pockets his phone. They’re quiet as Hansol takes hesitant steps the last distance to Johnny’s side, but their eyes never break contact.

“We should talk,” Johnny says eventually when they are all but pressed against each other. Hansol bites his lower lip and blinks several times rapidly, “do we have to?” he whispers and Johnny gulps audibly as the words are breathed over his lips.

“No, we don’t” he mumbles and then they are kissing. Johnny pulls Hansol right up against him with a hand flat on his lower back and they tilt their heads for the best angle to fuse their mouths together. Hansol’s hands come up to grip at Johnny’s sides and he opens his mouth to slide his tongue over the seam of Johnny’s lips. Johnny cups Hansol’s face with one hand as he slides his tongue past Hansol’s and into the other man’s mouth.

Hansol moans louder than he probably should, but having Johnny’s mouth on his again is even better than he had imagined. It’s not the sloppy, hard kisses they had shared the last time when they were drunk and barely functioning properly. It is deep and concentrated and all-consuming and Hansol can only hold on tight as Johnny kisses him with an experience he was unaware the other man had.

When they break apart, heavy puffs of air mix in between their faces and where Johnny’s eyes are squinting and dark, Hansol’s are round and the pupils blown wide in lust. He can’t decide if it is the kiss that was that good, or if it is the longing that has been building all week and the anticipation of what might come next, but Hansol can feel his body responding to Johnny with a desperate cry.

“We probably shouldn’t do this out here” Johnny smirks. That same confidence he showed the last time is creeping back into his expression and a heavy breath falls from Hansol’s mouth before he leans back in to kiss him again. Johnny is right of course; they can’t stay out here. The hallway is empty for now, but that won’t last forever and as they kiss Hansol fumbles in his pockets for his key to open the door. Johnny kisses him just as desperately despite his words, cups Hansol face with both palms and licks into his mouth like it is the most delicious treat. With his eyes closed and entirely preoccupied by the other man, Hansol fumbles blindly for the lock on the door and once he finds it it takes him five tries before he can fit the key inside. The door swings open on a push and the two stumble inside with arms wrapped around each other and lips fused together, completely forgetting Hansol’s outer jacket and sports bag left on the floor of the hallway.

 

They remember to lock the door behind them again, but after that the outside world fades away completely as they get lost more and more in each other with every touch and every kiss.

Sitting in that practice room he had envisioned a quick romp in the sheets, but Johnny spends a long time just kissing him with hands on his hips and their bodies pressed close together, so Hansol follows his flow. He holds Johnny’s elbow with one hand and the other he places flat on the curve of Johnny’s shoulder, fingers clenching and unclenching much like a contented cat as he moans quietly into Johnny’s mouth. While the kiss is deep, it is soft and slow and they breath through their nose as neither has any want to break apart. Not until they have had their fill of each other.

Johnny’s hands move slowly from his hips and up his sides, taking the thin sweater he is wearing with them until he can lift it over Hansol’s head. As it falls to the floor Johnny’s hands are already back on his body, sliding down his spine, one stopping in the middle of his back and the other settling in the curve of his lower back, fingers just grazing the hem of his trousers. Hansol thoroughly ruffles Johnny’s hair when they kiss again, running his hands through it and gripping it in between his fingers and making it stand on end, and Johnny presses red marks into Hansol’s skin as their kiss grows desperate. The image of soft, tan skin is enough to make Johnny’s mouth water, and the feeling of Johnny’s soft t-shirt against his naked chest shoots tingles through all of Hansol’s body.

As he feels his hold on his own sanity slip away, Hansol pulls Johnny in by the belt loops of his jeans and backs up until he feels his bed hit against the back of his knees. When he tries to sit down however, Johnny stops him with firm hands that he immediately slips inside his skinny jeans. It’s a tight fit, but they only stay for a moment as he hurries to undo the button and lower the zipper, all the while sucking on Hansol’s neck to the pulsating beat of his heart. He bites down gently on the skin of Hansol’s throat and makes a path of fading redness from his collarbones to his ear. “Your jeans are too tight” he says as he takes Hansol’s earlobe between his teeth, “I’d have to get you on your feet again just to get them off.” He slips his hands halfway inside Hansol’s jeans, two fingers on the outside and the rest flat against his hips and pulls the jeans slowly down Hansol’s legs. He goes on his knees to get them all the way off, pulling his shoes and socks off first, and he kisses over the inside of his thighs and behind his left knee as he lifts first one leg and then the other to leave Hansol in only his underwear. Hansol licks his lips and blinks rapidly as he steadies himself with a hand on Johnny’s shoulder, and it is a little weird, if he is being honest. Being with Johnny like this feels odd, but at the same time it’s exciting, and Hansol both wishes Johnny would and wishes he wouldn’t look up at him and see exactly how excited he is getting. Johnny does look, but he bypasses it completely when he rises to his feet again and pulls his own t-shirt over his head. They’re not overtly muscular either of them, but Johnny has a little more definition to his body, a largeness to his shoulders that Hansol doesn’t have. Hansol have always thought it made the other man look reliable, but in this situation Johnny’s half-naked body makes him want to touch and touch and touch, and it creates images in Hansol’s head of holding onto those strong shoulders while Johnny fucks him even better than he did last time.

“They make you look sexy though” Johnny grins and cups Hansol’s ass with both hands. Hansol bites his lower lip and smiles secretly at the compliment. He knows they do, that’s why he wears them, but it’s nice to know Johnny notices.

“Enhance your assets and all that right?” Johnny quirks his mouth in a lecherous smirk, but his eyes are sparkling with amusement and Hansol laughs as he runs his fingers up and down between Johnny’s shoulder blades. “Well, I do have great legs” Hansol muses and Johnny pulls him close again with hands on his hips and Hansol’s arms move automatically to fall over the man’s shoulders and stretch out limply behind him. They move in close to kiss, but before their lips can meet, when their noses are brushing and heated air mix in between them, Johnny hums and says, “yes, but I was talking about your ass.”

He swallows Hansol’s laugh in a kiss and strokes his thumbs over the man’s hipbones and walks him backwards again to sit him down on the bed.

“Same as last time or?” he asks when he straightens and starts tugging on his own jeans, popping the button and pulling them over his hips in a hurry. There is a slight hesitance to his look, but it disappears when Hansol nods wordlessly and scoots slowly backwards on the bed. Johnny crawls after him once he has removed his jeans and pulls at Hansol’s long limbs until he has the man flat on the bed underneath him, and lays down between his thighs. He ghosts his hands over Hansol’s skin and tucks his hands between the bed and the width of the man’s shoulders. Sucking on Hansol’s neck he rolls his hips against the man underneath him and Hansol responds by raising one leg up to rest against Johnny’s hip and planting the other flat on the bed to bring their crotches even closer together. They grind against each other and Johnny sucks marks into Hansol’s skin, from his collarbones to his nipples and Hansol arches against him when he moves further down his body with hands and mouth alike. He licks over Hansol’s tight stomach and caresses his thighs and hips and sinks his fingers into the softness of his ass before he pulls Hansol’s underwear off him and throws it to the floor. When he moves back up to kiss him again Johnny hooks his elbows under Hansol’s knees and pulls his legs up and grinds against his naked ass. Hansol moans as the bulge of Johnny’s clothed erection parts his cheeks and the soft cotton rubs over his opening. They move together with patience as they kiss, teasing each other until their bodies are slick with sweat and Johnny’s underwear is wet with precome and then Johnny pulls back and looks down at Hansol’s red face.

“Do you have stuff?” he asks and Hansol shoves a hand under his pillow and it comes back with a small bottle of lube clutched between its fingers. “I don’t have a condom though” Hansol whispers and blinks his wet eyes repeatedly. Johnny struggles to push himself upright and sets a foot on the floor as he reaches for his jeans. “Don’t worry” he grunts as he stretches for the clothing and when he has it in his hands he digs through one of the front pockets and brings out a square foil-package. “Ta-da” he sings and Hansol laughs.

He climbs carefully back on the bed and is met with Hansol’s arms wrapping around his neck and the man’s foot running over his calf and up his thigh as they kiss. Johnny balances on his elbows as he does his best to cover his fingers with lube without breaking the kiss, and with Hansol’s toes digging into the back of his thighs he pushes one wet finger slowly inside the older man. Hansol moans quietly into his mouth, sounding so content with having Johnny’s finger inside him that Johnny goes ahead and adds a second without pause. It’s not out of impatience this time because he can feel how Hansol’s muscles are a little loose around his fingers, so either the man has had sex with more than one person in the last week, or he likes to play with himself. Judging by how desperate Hansol seems to get his hands on him, Johnny concludes, with a satisfied smile, that he has been missed. He spends a long time fucking Hansol with just the two fingers though, moving them in and out and scissoring them inside him. He curls them against his walls until Hansol’s body goes rigid for a split second before jerking gently and then Hansol’s hands are grasping his hand in between them to keep his fingers where they are. Johnny smiles and kisses over Hansol’s knee as he rubs his fingers in miniscule motions right where Hansol wants them.

Hansol gasps and his chest jerks with each press of Johnny’s fingers to his prostate and he taps his fingers against the pulse point on Johnny’s wrist to urge him on. Johnny listens to his plea and adds a third finger to the ones stretching him and moves them gently inside him until Hansol’s legs fall apart and the man’s hips move as he fucks himself on Johnny’s fingers.

“Please, Johnny please” Hansol begs, his head is pushed back into the pillow and his hips move languidly against Johnny’s hand and he looks beautiful like this, consumed by the pleasure Johnny is giving him. Johnny enjoys the sight the older man makes spread out beneath him for a long moment before he pulls his fingers out and dries them quickly on the sheets. Then he tears open the condom wrapper and slides the latex onto his cock and before Hansol can so much as lift his head in the momentary reprieve, Johnny is pressing his slick cock against the other man’s opening.

Johnny leans forward and tucks his hands under Hansol’s shoulders and presses his mouth hard against the other man’s as he thrusts slowly and steadily inside him. Hansol digs his fingers into Johnny’s biceps and holds on as his body opens inch by inch around Johnny’s cock and they groan in unity when the younger man bottoms out inside him.

After three deep breaths Hansol lifts his legs around Johnny’s waist and urges him to move with gentle fingers against his cheeks.

“Johnny?” he whispers after several seconds of no response from the other man. A groan vibrates through Johnny’s throat and against Hansol’s skin and it is followed by a mumbled “I’m fine”, but Johnny still doesn’t move. Another groan accompanies Johnny pushing up on his forearms and the look of absolute disbelief on his face makes Hansol smile.

“Was it this good the last time?” Johnny whispers in awe and Hansol laughs quietly at him until Johnny shushes him and tells him sternly not to move.

“It probably wasn’t” Hansol whispers and bites his lip to withhold his smile. “You were piss drunk the last time.”

Johnny hums and closes his eyes as he breaths deeply through his nose.

“Probably a good time to say that you’re the only guy I’ve had sex with” Johnny admits with a quirk of his lips. Hansol’s eyes widen a fraction in surprise and he is at a complete loss of words. He would have never guessed.

“I know what to do, I mean I’ve researched what to do, but nothing could have prepared me for _this_!” Johnny lets out a woosh of air and places first one hand flat on the bed and then the other and pushes his upper body up until he is balanced on straight arms and looking down at Hansol.

“Okay” he breathes and finally moves his hips. Hansol moans loudly at the first thrust Johnny makes inside him and Johnny moans as well as if all the air has been punched from his lungs, but he doesn’t stop. Now that he has started he doesn’t think he will be able to stop at all. He hikes one of Hansol’s legs over his shoulder and grips tightly at his knee as he fucks into him with a steadily fastening pace. Hansol raises his arms above his head and push back against the wall as Johnny’s thrusts drive him closer and closer towards it and it feels so good, it clouds his mind with nothing but Johnny. They move together, Hansol rolls his hips against Johnny’s thrusts inside him and his lower back lifts from the bed as he flexes his leg over Johnny’s shoulder. The younger man holds him tight as he fucks him, and their moans mingle with the sound of skin slapping against skin.

Johnny looses all sense of rhythm as he nears his climax and when Hansol clenches around him he shouts a sharp _ah_ and comes into the condom. When Johnny stills with his cock all the way inside him, Hansol moans and takes his own cock in his hand and jerks himself to an orgasm as well.

 

They collapse on the bed in a pile of sweaty limbs and Johnny breathes harshly against Hansol’s neck for a whole minute before moving to pull out of him. He holds onto the condom with two fingers and carefully disposes of it after his cock slips free of Hansol’s body and when he comes back to the bed Hansol pulls him in with weak arms and moans quietly when Johnny lies down on top of him again.

“Was that okay?” Hansol whispers laughingly and Johnny sticks his tongue out at him before kissing him quiet. Johnny rolls them over after a while and Hansol drapes his body across the other man with a leg thrown over Johnny’s hips and his head buried in Johnny’s neck.

“Is this going to be a thing now or?” Johnny asks once they’ve settled and Hansol presses his lips against the man’s throat.

“Do you want it to?” he asks carefully and holds his breath in the seconds it takes Johnny to answer.

“Yeah” he says finally and Hansol presses another kiss against his throat. They cuddle in silence for a long time until a knock at the door breaks the comfortable mood. They go still and listens and soon another knock echoes through the room and Yuta’s voice accompanies it.

“Hansol?” he calls out. “I just wanted to tell you that you’ve left your jacket and your bag outside your door.” He is quiet for a moment before speaking again.

“I don’t need to know why, but you probably shouldn’t leave it out here.” Hansol moves as quickly as he can to wrap the duvet around his body and stumbles to the door. When he opens it just wide enough to stick a hand out, Yuta is laughing quietly at him while holding out his bag and jacket.

“Shut up” Hansol mumbles, but Yuta only laughs.

“I’m the first one back,” he says as he watches Hansol struggle with getting his things through the door without dropping the duvet, “so don’t worry.”

They smile at each other and Yuta reaches out to squeeze Hansol’s hand before he leaves and Hansol drops his things in the corner beside the door and shuffles back to the bed, draping the duvet over both their bodies when he lies back down.

“So” Johnny clears his throat and runs his palm up and own Hansol’s bicep a few times, “Yuta knows?” Hansol is quiet for a moment while he considers the odd tone in Johnny’s voice, looking out of the corner of his eye at the hand squeezing his arm gently.

“He’s my best friend” he says eventually and leaves it at that. Johnny hums and stretches as much as he can in the position they are in.

“We should probably get out of bed soon. It won’t be long until the other’s get back,” Johnny doesn’t move to leave the bed, but he does push the duvet off his own body and Hansol can’t help but look him over. He should want anything but leaving bed right now, but the atmosphere has turned weird for whatever reason so when Johnny climbs over him he keeps his hands to himself.

Hansol sits up on the bed and reaches for his shirt lying closest to him on the floor and tugs it on over his head, uncaring of the mess on his stomach. He is looking around for his jeans when Johnny suddenly kneels down in front of him, fully clothed. The other man leans in to kiss him and Hansol places a hand on his shoulder when it is more than the chaste peck he was expecting, as Johnny frames his face with his hands and licks into his mouth.

“So is it a whenever wherever thing, or do we have to plan?” he asks when he pulls back and Hansol doesn’t fully understand so he just repeats Johnny’s words of whenever and the other man smiles satisfied. A last kiss is pressed against Hansol’s lips and then Johnny is on his feet and heading for the door. Hansol draws in a shaky breath and struggles to his feet, wincing at the soreness in his body, and gathers his clothes with lethargy settling in his bones. This thing with Johnny is already becoming a rollercoaster and Hansol can only hope that by doing this, he hasn’t screwed things up for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't like this part so it might be edited at a later time, but for now I'm gonna leave it as it is.


	3. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! This last part turned out longer than the previous two put together so enjoy (hopefully). beware the sap. and i don't mean the kind you get from trees.

Yuta is the first one to bring it up. A couple of weeks go by with him watching Hansol come stumbling into the kitchen in the mornings, moving carefully and hesitating with sitting down, but smiling despite the pain. And after realising that Hansol never left the dorm the evening before this breakfast scenario would take place, it gets easy to piece the remaining puzzle together, with the exception of one significant part. Yuta couldn’t figure out which of their friends was fucking Hansol more often than he would think necessary. A couple times a week sure, but not this often.

He didn’t have that many suspects though. Doyoung, while an intelligent kid, is happily clueless about sex. Ten, despite his constant bragging and insistence on the opposite, is as hesitant about sex as Yuta always thought Hansol was. Taeyong was excluded on the premise that Yuta has been spending a lot of time with him now that Hansol has been so busy with his newfound boyfriend. And Yuta is like ninety-nine percent sure he’s not into guys. Taeil was never even an option, though Yuta doesn’t quite know why he never considered him.

His careful investigating narrowed it down to two, part of the so-called Foreign Swagger, Johnny and Jaehyun. Jaehyun may be a sweet kid, but there is something sexy lurking in that boy, not that Yuta cares about that. Plus, Hansol confessed to him once that he found Jaehyun attractive. Crazy handsome, were his exact (drunken) words. Despite all that however, Yuta’s best guess was Johnny. If anyone were to take his best friend from him, who else but Johnny, is what he reasoned it with.

 

<=>

 

When he finds Hansol alone in a dance studio, Yuta is quick to lock the door behind himself and literally corner the other man, sidling up close enough to have Hansol retreating against the wall.

“Okay, talk” he says and waits as long as three seconds before going on.

Who am I kidding? Tell me about your boyfriend! I’ve kind of figured out who it is, but you should be the one to say it really. I’m your best friend aren’t I? Not to mention you’ve been dropping me for him and I need to be recompensed.” He stops for real this time and waits, but Hansol only stares back at him with that wide-eyed, lost expression he gets when Yuta gets more excited than he can handle.

“I don’t, I don’t have a boyfriend” he stutters and Yuta visibly deflates like a popped balloon. His head drops forward and he widens his eyes at Hansol, taking a big breath through his nose before exclaiming, “then who’s been fucking you for two weeks straight?”

Hansol’s whole body jolts and his hands flail for several seconds before he covers Yuta’s mouth with both hands, shushing him desperately. Yuta smiles a little as the Hansol he has always known comes back, the one who blushes at the mention of sex and panics at Yuta’s bluntness even in a locked, practically soundproof room.

Hansol stutters for several long moments without saying anything of weight or value, nor even relevance, and Yuta waits patiently like he always does. After a while the other man quiets down and only stares at him and Yuta starts to worry. Not because he thinks Hansol is in any sort of trouble, but because he can see in his eyes that his older friend is ashamed. Taking Hansol’s hands in his, Yuta breaches the remaining distance between them and brushes Hansol’s bangs out of his eyes. The last time he saw the other like this was when Hansol told him that he was gay and he didn’t think he would ever see the elder so reluctant to be honest with him again.

“It’s nothing” he says eventually and Yuta frowns. It feels like they are reliving that Wednesday afternoon seventeen months ago, except the setting is different. That day Hansol had chosen a coffee shop a distance from the dorms, not their favourite one, instead one they had never frequented before.  It was somewhere public where Yuta would be forced to reject him quietly if that was the case and the fact that Hansol had prepared for that outcome had offended Yuta a great deal.

“If you really think I’m going to believe that I don’t think we can be friends anymore.” It is an exaggeration of course and the threat is only a threat, but Hansol takes him seriously anyway.

“It’s just sex” he whispers with his eyes glued to the floor, a moment later his chin drops to his chest and his shoulders hunch forward as he tries his best to hide. Yuta is quiet for a long time as he thinks and then he asks, “is it Johnny?” The question is purely for confirmation as, harsh it may be, Johnny is the only one he can imagine entering a relationship of casual sex with anyone. Hansol nods minutely and Yuta sags against the floor with a deep sigh.

They sit together in silence, only broken by the steady tap of Yuta’s fingers that seem to echo in the quiet room. For long minutes they say nothing to each other and Hansol sinks further and further into himself as the seconds tick by. He had expected Yuta to be disappointed in him, but he hadn’t realised it would hurt him so badly.

“What if it goes wrong?” Yuta whispers at long last. Hansol raises his eyes to meet the other’s and so much is shared between them with just one glance.

 

That is a question Hansol has asked himself more than once since he entered this (relationship? arrangement? agreement?) with Johnny. He knows himself well enough to say with certainty that he is not of the disposition to let sex stay as just sex, but he doesn’t know Johnny well enough in this sense to say the same about him. From what he has learned from the little things Johnny says and does, the other man has far more experience than he does, even if he has gotten that from women. Come to think of it, that is probably why he has so much more experience than him.

Experience however, will do nothing to change either of the outcomes Hansol has envisioned, be they worst-case scenarios or not. This relationship will either cause them to crash and burn with lost friendship and consequences, or it will cause them to crash and burn with blooming love and even more consequences. (Suffice to say he doesn’t have a very positive outlook at the moment.)

“There is no way this can go right Yuta, I know that.”

Hansol keeps his eyes fixated on the other man’s visible collarbone, marvels again at Yuta’s love for low-necked shirts, and fiddles with his own fingers in his lap.

“It’s not like you to be so negative” Yuta mutters and his voice is a little rough as if he has a sore throat, but Hansol recognises the tone as disappointment. Hansol hates disappointing people close to him.

“If something can go wrong then it is only natural that it can also go right. And there are more than two ways this can unfold.” Yuta grips Hansol’s upper arms in his hands and gives him a gentle shake and when Hansol raises his eyes to Yuta’s face there is a small, determined smile stretching the younger’s lips.

“Maybe you do this for a while and then slowly the excitement will ebb and you’ll go back to being just regular friends like you’ve always been.” Hansol open his mouth and narrows his eyes, but Yuta give him another shake to keep him silent and then he goes on talking.

“Maybe you can never have the same kind of friendship as you did before ever again or maybe you’ll find yourself falling in love. Maybe it will be a one-sided love and any friendship between you is screwed for all eternity.” Hansol’s brow furrows and a small sound of distress leaves his lips as Yuta continues to list all the worst-case scenarios out loud.

“Maybe you’ll fall in love with each other, but circumstance will keep you apart, or tear you apart and destroy everything you’ve built and worked for all these years. Maybe the consequences will involve the rest of us as well and you’ll end up screwing it up big time and everyone will hate you for the rest of our natural lives.” Yuta snorts a laugh at the utterly terrified look on Hansol’s face and hums “I’m joking, just joking.” (In Japanese because he is always determined to teach them his mother tongue.)

“But maybe that won’t be how it happens. Maybe you fall in love and it’s the Happy Ever After kind of love that makes the light seem brighter and the sky bluer and the grass greener and even Doyoung’s atrocious red sweater will look good to you.” Hansol nearly comments that Doyoung’s sweater is only ugly to Yuta because he doesn’t understand fashion, but wisely decides it is not the time for it.

“There are so many ways this can happen and some of them are good and some of them are bad, but most likely what will happen will be a little bit of both because that’s how life works —man, when did I get so wise?” And Hansol interrupts with a whispered “wiseass” and they both laugh a little as Yuta’s hands change from gripping his arms hard enough to hurt to rubbing comfortingly over his shoulders.

“You know you’ll always have me right?” Yuta says and his right eye scrunches together at the cheesiness and his face is laughing when Hansol looks at him again, but he knows Yuta means every word of it.

 

Hansol keeps Yuta’s words in the forefront of his mind for the rest of the day and when Johnny corners him in the washing room at the dorms as he is hanging his laundry to dry, they keep him so distracted that he barely responds to the other man’s advances.

“Is this not okay?” Johnny asks when Hansol doesn’t kiss him back as enthusiastically and he steps back a little from where he has the other man bent backwards over the rumbling dryer.

“No, no it’s fine” Hansol mumbles distractedly and Johnny steps back completely.

“It’s fine” he says when Hansol’s eyes finally focus on him, “we can keep this behind doors, it’s fine.” Hansol musters a trembling smile and leans forward to place a short peck on Johnny’s mouth and whispers his gratitude against his lips.

Hansol hadn’t even thought about the fact that anyone could walk in on them, he was so caught up in consequences and feelings and wondering at exactly how he felt about Johnny and this thing they have. With Johnny pointing it out though his cheeks turn red and his eyes flit around the room as if someone would be hiding in the laundry basket or something.

He checks his own laundry to see everything hanging on the lines and then grabs Johnny’s hand and pulls him out of the room and down the hall to the other’s bedroom. Johnny crowds up against his back once the door is closed and bites down on the side of his neck as he cups his hips in a firm hold and grinds against his ass, and all his actions does is make Hansol’s head spin with thoughts about what this is exactly.

Put simply, it is just sex. They were friends and now they are friends with benefits, but what will they be when they get past that stage? Will they ever be in a functioning, reciprocated love type of relationship, or will the heat simmer and die like a burnt out matchstick, or a candle that burns for hours before it is eventually extinguished with no hope of ever burning again?

He wonders at the way Johnny treats him as the other man spins him around and takes his mouth in a kiss while he starts undressing the both of them. Hansol has nothing to complain about the actual sex, he enjoys everything they do, everything Johnny does to him, but he always wonders about the way Johnny gets tense, goes almost rigid, when Hansol puts his hands anywhere close to his ass. And he doesn’t understand the relief on Johnny’s face whenever Hansol rubs against his cock and asks for Johnny to fuck him.

He is drawn out of his thoughts by Johnny pushing him down on the bed, grinning at him and demanding that he snap out of it and pay attention to him. And when Johnny fucks him on all fours he drives all complicated thought from Hansol’s mind and he doesn’t think about any of it for months afterwards when they find themselves sitting alone and waiting for their turn.

 

<=>

 

“Have you talked to Yuta lately?” Johnny asks against the rim of his paper cup before taking a sip of his tepid coffee. Hansol hums around the straw in his own drink and lets his eyes roam the small café they are seated in.

“Not for a few days” he answers and it is Johnny’s turn to hum and just like that silence falls over them again. Hansol sips quietly from his iced caramel latte and looks steadfastly at his own lap while his fingers drum against the plastic cup he holds between both hands. It all feels painfully awkward. But that is how things are between them now.

They still have sex, not as often as they did months ago, but when they need it they fall right back into it, but their relationship outside of bed has been quietly deteriorating for months now. With lesser and lesser friends to distract them as more NCT units are debuted, the strained quality of their interactions are impossible to ignore, but still they do their best. Like having coffee dates (not dates) and practicing choreography together just the two of them and talking about how bummed they feel about being left behind. Even though they know they haven’t been left behind at all, it is an easy thing to complain about, albeit jokingly. It is more a subject to laugh about rather than what would evoke any actual rancor in either of them. “They’re just being smart and saving the best for last” Johnny had joked once a month ago while they watched the kids practice their hover board routine, and Hansol had poked him gently in the shoulder with an embarrassed laugh before resting his head there. It had been one of those moments where the awkwardness was far away and it was difficult to understand that they were anything but the close friends they had been for years. Hansol misses those moments when they don’t come around, but when they happen he is too uncertain about Johnny’s feelings to do much to hold onto them.

Hansol is certain about his own feelings, but Johnny is, despite his open nature, a complete mystery. It wasn’t long into their arrangement that Hansol started losing his grip on that fragile boundary between the physical and that of the mind and heart. He knew from the beginning that he wouldn’t be able to have one without interference from the other, but even so the sudden influx of feelings he felt for Johnny only weeks after they had sex for the first time took him completely by surprise. It had been overwhelming.

The sex was better, not because of anything Johnny did, but simply because there were feelings involved, however one-sided. Lying against Johnny in bed, naked and sated, became his favourite thing. Wrapping himself around Johnny and feeling the other man wrapped around him in return, the moments after sex when Johnny would allow him to kiss and touch with a gentleness inherent in his nature that were always absent when they fucked. Johnny’s indulgence only fuelled him until feelings turned to love and love turned to heart break. Johnny never showed any inclination of love in return.

 

Hansol takes a sip from his drink and grimaces at the watered out taste of milk and caramel syrup and tips his cup to see the contents of it has diminished to melted ice cubes and not much more. He pouts a little and wonders if he should buy another as he sets the plastic cup down on the dark wood table between them and steals a glance at the other man. Johnny is watching him already and doesn’t look away when they meet eyes, but neither does he acknowledge the fact that this is the first time they have shared eye contact in the time they have been sitting here. Hansol has a moment of bravery and opens his mouth to speak, but instead he sighs quietly and drops his gaze back to the table. This awkwardness is his fault.

Johnny has nothing to do with it and he is not at fault for making Hansol fall in love with him. If anything it is only a testament to how wonderful he is, that even without doing anything at all he has made Hansol fall for him, absolutely and irrevocably.  

His eyes are drawn to the other side of the table when Johnny tears a large bite from his blueberry muffin with his fingers and without thinking he reaches over and takes a smaller bite out of it and brings it to his own mouth. He shoots a cheeky smile at Johnny as he licks his fingers clean, but it falls slowly when he sees the other’s serious expression. Johnny’s eyes are hard and focused on his fingers in his mouth and normally that kind of attention would have Hansol sliding their legs together and tempting the other man closer, but the look in Johnny’s eyes is foreign and Hansol has no idea what to make of it.

He almost apologizes for stealing a bite of his muffin, but realises how ridiculous that is and instead he keeps quiet and returns Johnny’s look with knitted eyebrows. After only a moment Johnny seems to shake himself out of whatever thought caught his mind and goes back to his coffee. Hansol gulps and hunches down in his seat, fingers reaching for the straw in his drink and fiddling with it, stirring the small ice cubes in the pale mix of milk and water. He is transfixed by the circling movement of the ice cubes when a plate is pushed gently across the table to him, a half-eaten blueberry muffin resting on it and Johnny’s fingers tap against the rim of the ceramic before retreating. Hansol sends the other man a small, relieved smile before sitting upright, wiggling a little on his seat, and takes a big bite from the muffin and hums a little for show. The muffin is really good though.

When he has eaten all but one bite Hansol acts, once again, without thinking and reaches over the table with the piece of pastry between his fingers and feeds it to Johnny. The other man takes it from Hansol’s fingers, one hand holding Hansol’s steady, and both of them go still when Johnny’s lips brush against Hansol’s fingertips and his fingers caress the pulse point on the inside of Hansol’s wrist. Then Hansol blinks and the moment is broken and the both of them look around the café, paranoid that someone caught the intimacy of the moment.

No one is watching them, but when Johnny suggest they leave Hansol nods his head quickly and they gather their things and are out the door as quick as they can. They walk close together on their way back, trading glances and small smiles and just like that something between them has changed.

 

<=>

 

The dorm is empty when they come back so when Johnny leans past him to hang up his coat Hansol fists his shirt in one hand and presses a quick kiss to his lips. Johnny stills for a second with wide eyes, but then a smile spreads over his lips and he steals a chaste kiss in return before he crouches to tug his shoes off. Hansol smiles back at him even if the other man can’t see it and easily kicks off his shoes and tiptoes quickly into the kitchen. He wonders suddenly why he sometimes does that, tip-toeing instead of walking properly, but he doesn’t really have an answer. It is just something he does.

“Do you want tea?” he calls to Johnny, but starts boiling water for two without waiting for an answer. He has just placed two cups on the counter when Johnny comes up behind him and slips his arms around him in a comforting embrace.

“I’d rather have something else” he whispers into Hansol’s ear and nips at the lobe, but when it only makes Hansol laugh he whines quietly and presses closer against the other man’s back. Hansol goes still in his arms and Johnny counts the victory his for all but a moment.

“Don’t you think we should talk?” Hansol’s fingers settle carefully over Johnny’s forearms and the both of them sigh in unison. “Do we have to?” Johnny asks. He genuinely thinks there is no necessity for words, there never has been between them and to him nothing much has changed.

“This time I think we do” Hansol says and turns around in between Johnny’s arms and leans against the counter behind him. Johnny watches him for a long time, takes a step back and studies his face, his eyes, and rubs his thumbs over the curves of Hansol’s hipbones. Then he leans forward and lays his mouth over Hansol’s, swipes his tongue gently between the seam of his lips and into his mouth. Hansol sighs into the gentle kiss and snakes his hands past Johnny’s to settle them at the other man’s waist. The kiss lasts for a long time, long enough that the boiled water goes cold, but it never becomes more than a soft meeting of lips and tongues wrapping around each other. It is devoid of the lust which has ruled their relationship for many months and the fluttering sensations it causes feels decidedly like love.

When they eventually break apart their breath is laboured and their lips are swollen and red and quiet laughs slip from both of them. It feels like happiness.

“Talk…” Johnny sighs into Hansol’s neck where he has buried his face. He takes a deep breath of the elder’s scent and tightens his hold around his body, presses him hard into the counter and sucks a piece of skin between his teeth. He can feel how Hansol jerks in surprise and his sharp inhale nearly dislodges his mouth from Hansol’s neck, but then Hansol’s fingers are digging into his sides and Johnny grounds his feet against the floor and rolls his hips into Hansol’s.

“We should talk” he says as he drops both hands to squeeze Hansol’s butt, but a second later he goes rigid as Hansol does the same to him. He coughs quietly and goes on kissing and sucking pale marks into the other’s neck.

“We should talk” Hansol says and his voice is clear, almost stoic and Johnny pulls back to look him in the eyes, because where did that tone come from?

“We should talk about that” Hansol says, but doesn’t clarify what he thinks they need to talk about. His face softens then and he lays his hands flat over Johnny’s chest and rubs them up and down in a move that’s meant to be comforting.

“I know—I know that I’m the only guy you’ve been with, but” he takes a deep breath and bites his lower lip on the exhale, his eyelids flutter over his big, round eyes and Johnny watches him patiently as he tries to find the best words to use. He thinks he knows where he is going with this anyway.

“I want to know why you’re so scared of it.”

Johnny doesn’t say anything for a long while, eyes fastened to his own hands on Hansol’s hips, and Hansol stares at the top of his head while he waits as his patience slowly grows thin.

“Never mind” he says when it doesn’t seem like any answer is forth-coming, “it’s not important.” Except it really is.

Hansol doesn’t care if Johnny just doesn’t want to do that, what he wants to know is why, at the slightest touch from Hansol, Johnny freezes as if he is afraid Hansol will maul his ass like a wild animal. He tries to untangle Johnny’s arms from around him so he can get away, and isn’t that the perfect way to start a relationship? Hansol is regretting bringing it up, the mood was so good before he opened his mouth.

“I don’t think I would like it” Johnny says and his hands grip tightly to the counter on either side of Hansol to keep him in place.

“I know you probably want to do that to me, I guess most guys want to—not to me exactly, but you get it.” Johnny’s words fall out of his mouth in a stumbling mess and he keeps his eyes resolutely somewhere above Hansol’s shoulders.

“I just don’t think I would like it so it makes me nervous, you know.” Hansol doesn’t actually know, he bottomed his first time because he wanted to know how it felt and the only thing he was nervous about at the time was someone else seeing him naked. He doesn’t say this however and waits for Johnny to say more. Johnny’s eyes flicker back and forth between Hansol’s eyes and whatever interesting spot they have found behind Hansol and he gulps loudly when the elder continues to keep his silence.

Saying it out loud makes Johnny feel a little foolish, but the fear is real. He is inexplicably nervous about getting fucked, and honestly, he doesn’t want it in the slightest.

“But I know it’s not fair that I always get things my way so of course you can, you know—we can switch and all that, not all the time though.” Johnny licks his dry lips and clears his throat and his body gets fidgety as he is torn between running away and pressing closer to end the conversation. His face scrunches slightly when Hansol sighs deeply, but Hansol’s fingers are gentle when they frame his face and stroke his bangs out of his eyes.

“That doesn’t matter” he whispers and lays a kiss on Johnny’s cheek. “Sex is a two-way street, if I ever do something you don’t like I will stop, just the same as how I expect you to stop if you do something I don’t like. There is no use in having sex at all if only one person is enjoying themselves.” Hansol trails his hands over Johnny’s shoulders and down his arms and sighs again, this time with a fond smile on his lips.

“I like it when you fuck me, I really like it. If you never want to try switching, then we won’t and if you want to try it sometime and don’t like it then we don’t have to do it again. It’s not _how_ we have sex that’s important, the only thing that matters is that we are both enjoying it.”

Johnny locks eyes with Hansol and smiles a small, grateful smile at him and leans forward to press that smile against Hansol’s lips, but then he stops.

“Can I ask then, why did you bring it up?” And Hansol sighs again, this time hard and impatient and Johnny whispers a tiny apology that he isn’t sure Hansol even hears.

“I brought it up because every time you freeze up when I touch you it makes me feel as if you’re afraid I’m going to go savage and attack you or something!” The words spill out on a shout and Johnny winces as he realises how insensitive he has been.

“Sorry” he says again, louder so Hansol hears it and he lifts his arms to lay his hands flat against Hansol’s back and starts rubbing circles with his palms.

“I thought if I just showed you that I wasn’t ready for that, that you would get it and we wouldn’t have to talk about it like this. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.”

“Idiot,” Johnny gives a quiet, indignant quack against Hansol’s neck “who … who would even get that?” Johnny stills and slumps against Hansol, pressing his cheek against the other’s bony shoulder.

“I guess I am a bit of an idiot” he says and observes how Hansol shivers when his breath fans over the wet skin of the other’s neck. He smirks and blows a gentle stream of air between his lips and Hansol gasps sharply and clutches him close and then they are back to where they started. Only this time when Hansol puts his hands on Johnny’s ass to pull the other against his body, Johnny groans and rolls his hips into him.

 

They leave the kitchen with the tea cups lined up on the counter and water in the kettle, shuffling slowly across the floor with their lips locked and their hands grabbing at clothes. Johnny knocks into one of the kitchen chairs hard enough for it to topple backwards, but all the acknowledgement they give it are short chuckles against red lips and seconds after that Hansol’s sweater falls to the floor close to the sofa. Not long after that, Johnny’s shirt is thrown off his shoulders to land on the floor going into the hallway.  It is as if, by confessing their feelings for each other and taking that step into a real relationship, it no longer matters who knows about them. They are certainly not making an attempt at subtlety.

They reach the door to Hansol’s room and Hansol pushes Johnny against the wall beside it, smiling into the kiss, that is still so slow and comfortable, at the feeling of déjà vu the moment brings him.

“Don’t you think there is more we should talk about?” Johnny breaks the kiss and asks, but then he leans right back and bites at Hansol’s bottom lip. Hansol laughs quietly in his chest and whispers against Johnny’s ear, “do we have to?”

Johnny’s chest vibrates against him when he laughs and Hansol latches onto the side of his neck and bites down hard, drawing skin into his mouth that he intends to turn a bright blue and red. His mouth is still sucking on Johnny’s neck when the other turns them around and steers them through the open doorway and into Hansol’s dark bedroom. Johnny’s moans vibrate against his lips before he is forced to let go when his head is pulled up and he is drawn into a kiss, far more forceful and passionate than any they have shared previously that day. Johnny’s hands are framing his face in a strong grip and he uses that hold to tilt Hansol’s head the way he wants it and in return Hansol slides his hands over Johnny’s hips and into the back-pockets of his jeans and squeeze the globes of Johnny’s ass hard enough for the other man to gasp in shock. Hansol smiles impishly at him when Johnny pulls away and retracts his hands. He steps back enough to dislodge Hansol’s hands from his body and gives him a narrowed-eyed look as he loosens his belt and pulls it from the loops of his jeans and drops it carefully to the hard wood floor. When he walks past Hansol he slaps the other’s ass hard enough for him to stumble forward a step and smirks gleefully as he sits down when the action causes a sharp squeak to erupt from Hansol’s mouth.

“Come here” he says once he is comfortable on the edge of the bed and crooks his finger at Hansol. When the other is close enough he reaches out a hand and strokes it over the outside of Hansol’s leg and with a gentle grip around his knee he guides the other man to stand in between his legs, all the while keeping his eyes locked on Hansol’s large ones. Despite the sexual nature of their current situation, the position of their bodies and their gradual nakedness and the simple matter of where they both want this to go, the impatience to just get to it is non-existent.  There is excitement in the smallest touch, the lust that normally shoots through them like fireworks, are simmering like hot coals in their belly. Johnny runs his hands up the outside of Hansol’s thighs and over his sides and Hansol brushes thick bangs out of Johnny’s eyes so their eyes can meet uninterrupted. And when they do the hard thump of Hansol’s heart in his chest causes him to gasp in a lungful of air because there is a look in Johnny’s eyes that he has never dared dreamt he would see. In a rush of affection Hansol cups Johnny’s jaws in his palms and leans down to pull him into a desperate kiss. With their lips sealed together Hansol climbs onto his knees on the bed, balancing with the help of Johnny’s hands on his hips so that he is straddling the other man’s lap and Johnny slowly lowers himself onto the bed. With a little shuffling they move so that Johnny can stretch out comfortably on his back and Hansol can sit over him without worrying about toppling off the bed. Through it all their mouths stick to each other, the kiss slow and deep and as gentle as Johnny’s hands on the back of Hansol’s thighs.

Hansol is the one who pulls away after minutes of gentle exploration and he sits back on Johnny’s thighs and smiles at the mess he has made of Johnny’s hair.

“What, do I look like a dam troll?” Johnny laughs and Hansol tilts his head at the odd reference. He doesn’t get it, but imagines they must look very stupid.

“You look stupid” he says and Johnny laughs louder and says, “so a dam troll,” but doesn’t elaborate any further so Hansol leaves it at that. It’s not at all important anyway.

 

Johnny breathes deeply through his nose and out his mouth several times as he runs his hands over Hansol’s thighs and Hansol recognises the action as him controlling his arousal. Smiling coyly down at Johnny he rolls his hips and grinds down against him, rubs against Johnny’s growing erection until the other man can’t help but moan loudly and buck into him. Johnny settles quickly however, and with a firm grip on Hansol’s hips he starts moving against him as well and Hansol falls forward so he is resting against Johnny’s chest when their hips move in tandem and rub their hardening cocks together. Their mouths find each other in a kiss far less gentle than their previous ones and Hansol fist the sheets below them in his fingers as he runs his tongue over Johnny’s teeth and the inside of his cheeks and against the other’s restless tongue. And for a long time they lay like that, hips moving slowly and tongues clashing fiercely in a juxtaposed dance. Hansol stretches out a hand in front of him and up, to the cord hanging from the small wall lamp and when his fingers hit the switch, soft, yellow lighting washes over the two of them. “I wanted to see your face” he smiles at Johnny and leans back down to press a chaste kiss to his lips. Johnny hums in return and runs his palms up and down Hansol’s thighs.

“Take them off” he whispers against the other’s lips and with another soft peck Hansol rises carefully from the bed. Trying to get his jeans off in that position is an impossible feat. He halfway turns his back to Johnny as he struggles to pull his trousers from his legs, and strips out of his socks and underwear at the same time, so he misses Johnny rising from the bed as well to undress. When the other man presses against him their naked skin feels warm against each other and Johnny’s cock is deliciously hard against his buttocks. Hansol turns his head over his shoulder and Johnny meets him in a kiss as their hands run over each other’s naked bodies, Johnny sliding his palms over Hansol’s hips and tight stomach and Hansol reaches behind them to dig his fingers into the softness of Johnny’s ass to pull the other man tighter against him. Johnny moans around Hansol’s tongue as his cock slips in his own precum and presses between the elder’s cheeks and Hansol hums while he grinds against him for only a few seconds before shifting around in his embrace. For a long, quiet moment they hold each other, looking into each other’s eyes and breathing each other’s breath.

“If I could have you against me like this all the time,” Johnny starts and takes a deep breath with his nose pressed to Hansol’s cheek, but he doesn’t finish and the rest of his sentence hangs unspoken between them. Hansol bites his lower lip and turns his head slightly so their cheeks glide together and his eyes fall to his own hand as his fingers run back and forth over the curve of Johnny’s shoulder as the moment sinks into his mind. He feels so safe, completely at ease in Johnny’s embrace and the other’s even breath tells him Johnny feels exactly the same. There is no rush, no pressure to be anything, to be better than they were yesterday. No restlessness as they while away the day in that same practice room while their friends move on to other things. There is no doubt.

There is only warmth and comfort and a deep sense of happiness, and Hansol thinks back on all the fairy tale’s he has read since he was a kid and wonders if this is what they meant when they spoke about True Love.

He laughs quietly at himself and Johnny whispers a breathy “what?” against his ear, but Hansol only tightens his arms around the other man and breathes in his scent.

“You even smell warm” he laughs and Johnny repeats, louder as he pulls away to look into Hansol’s face, “what?” Hansol only smiles and shakes his head before he leans in and sucks Johnny’s bottom lip between his own. He turns them around and walks two careful steps backwards until he bumps against the frame of his bed. With his hands on Johnny’s waist and the other holding him close with a hand in his hair and an arm around his shoulders as they kiss, he lowers himself slowly to the bed and lies back, inviting Johnny to rest between his legs. Their mouths open against each other and their tongues tangle between reddened lips as Hansol closes his legs around Johnny’s waist and Johnny pulls him as close as he can with arms wrapping around his shoulders.

“Like this” Hansol whispers breathlessly, “today I want it like this.” Johnny reaches for the drawer on the nightstand and fishes out a condom and the bottle of lube and with his lips never leaving Hansol’s he goes through the now-familiar task of preparing them.

When he slides all the way inside Hansol there is a moment again, like the one they shared in the café not long ago, where their eyes meet and their hearts race and something changes.

“I love you” Hansol whispers right before Johnny kisses him and starts to move and then all words are lost to moans and groans and whimpers and hitched breaths and gasps for air. They find a rhythm and move with each other, Johnny thrusts softly into Hansol while Hansol rolls his hips in slow circles to meet him. They substitute kisses for proper breathing, but their faces stay close as Johnny leans over Hansol with his weight resting on his forearms and their breath mingles and heats their faces while their lips brush each other’s. Hansol runs his fingers gently through Johnny’s thick hair and his normally big eyes are heavy-lidded with pleasure as Johnny’s cock pulses inside him and presses against his prostate. His mouth moves as if to speak, but only moans come past his lips and the desperate _I love you_ stays silent. The pace of their movements speed up as their bodies come closer to orgasm, and when Johnny’s eyes fall closed and his thrusts turn shallow a breathy “I love you” falls from his lips amidst a gasped version of Hansol’s name and a long, drawn-out moan. The rush of emotion that goes through Hansol at those three words coaxes his body into climaxing as well and he clenches down around Johnny’s pulsing cock as he paints his own stomach white.

 

They slump together to the bed as the tension caused by their mutual orgasms drain from their bodies and their heavy breaths are loud in the sudden silence. Johnny takes only a moment, with his head resting on Hansol’s shoulder, to regain his breath and then he raises up on his forearms again and takes Hansol’s lips in a deep kiss. He maps every inch of Hansol’s mouth thoroughly without giving way and it feels almost like he is trying to say something with that kiss that he can’t find the words to enunciate, and then he eases up on the pressure and sucks Hansol’s tongue into his mouth. They kiss softly for another minute before Johnny moves again, pulling carefully out of Hansol while making sure the condom doesn’t move and then he staggers off the bed while he removes and ties it up and throws it in the little garbage can in the corner. He picks up a sock from the floor on his way back and wipes his cock with it and then he uses it to wipe up the stringy cum on Hansol’s stomach, leaning over him to place a kiss against his hair when he sees Hansol’s eyes have fallen closed. Johnny’s kiss wakes him from his doze and his eyelids flutter open and when he sees Johnny’s face so close to his, a bright, sleepy smile lights up his entire face and his cheeks turn slightly red when Johnny’s lips morph into a loving smile at the sight he makes. The look he finds in Johnny’s eyes is one he has wished to see for a very long time, and suddenly he starts to wonder how long it has been there and if it is he who has never noticed. He remembers what Johnny said in the throes of passion right before he came and he wonders how much of it is true. How much does Johnny love him exactly?

 

“You want to take a shower?” Johnny asks and Hansol hums an affirmative, but he doesn’t move. Johnny hums as well and strokes his hand over Hansol’s hair and makes no move to leave either. It feels too comfortable to be in the moment and neither wants to break the peacefulness of it. In the end though, the drying sweat on their bodies and the residue of cum on Hansol’s stomach that is starting to crust and getting itchy, is enough incentive to move from the bed and out of the room. Johnny sticks his head out the door and when he finds the dorm still empty he walks out with no qualms about his nakedness, but Hansol wraps the sheets from his bed around his body and hurries after him through the hall and into the bathroom.

“So no one’s here yet” Johnny says while he turns the shower on and starts adjusting the temperature. “I was kind of hoping we wouldn’t have to start telling people.”

Hansol raises an eyebrow at him and Johnny steals a kiss before stepping into the shower.

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind telling people,” Hansol smiles at him when Johnny drags him under the spray right away and starts rubbing circles into the small of his back.

“What do we tell them though?” Hansol asks. He wraps his arms around Johnny’s waist and lays his head on his shoulder. He is feeling incredibly tired and needy, but Johnny only wraps him tighter in his arms and lets him rest against him, just like how he has always done.

“We can start with what you said earlier,” Johnny hums against his ear and Hansol shudders slightly in his arms.

“And what was that?” he asks and presses a kiss against Johnny’s neck.

“I love you” Johnny whispers in his ear and Hansol pulls back with a gasp and blinks away the rush of embarrassing tears as he fumbles for the words he knows he wants to say.

“I love you” he breathes and runs his hands up Johnny’s arms to his shoulders and back down to hold his wrists between his fingers, thumbs pressed against his steady pulse.

“I’ve had feelings for you almost since the beginning, but I had lost hope of anything ever happening.” Hansol tilts his head as the tears he has been holding back for months finally falls, “I was prepared to lose you completely.”

Johnny cups his face in his hands and swipes gently at his cheeks with his thumbs. Hansol’s face is already wet so the tears are hardly visible, but he sees them and they cause his heart to lurch painfully in his chest. He blinks away tears of his own as Hansol’s words resounds so accurately to his own thoughts and with a shaky breath he leans forward and kisses Hansol so delicately, so gentle that tears spill once again from Hansol’s eyes. Hansol laughs wetly when they part and holds Johnny’s head still in his hands as he presses tiny pecks all over his face.

“I’ve loved you for so long, I never dared hope that you would like me back.” The words are mumbled against Johnny’s cheek and Johnny laughs low in his throat as he turns them around so he can soak in the spray of the shower.

“I don’t just like you Hansol,” he says against the other’s mouth, “I love you. Get it right.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As this is the last part I just wanted to give a collective thanks to everyone who has commented and given me kudos, I love all of you<3


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